Why do we accept the things that we do not deserve?
Love-its definition by dictionary is: A profoundly tender, passionate affection of another person. Love by personal definition has an abundance of value. It’s very diverse in the way of expression and understanding. How do we define or measure what love truly is? Every woman has a story. It would be nice if that story started with a once upon a time and ended with a happily ever after. Reality is its much more complex than the prince who saves the day. Women have learned over time to become their own heroes, through lessons of broken hearts and failed relationships. If we have learned to be self-dependent and stand on our own two feet then why do we accept the things we do not deserve?
My story has as many twist and turns as the next. There have definitely been times that I had to nurture the wounds in my heart. I couldn’t identify the reason of why I was experiencing heart break. Then one day I realized that my biggest battle, my biggest critic and greatest enemy had been myself. Self-love was something that I had not even tried defining. Why? Well, have you ever heard someone say “I love you more than I love myself”? I definitely have. Hearing those words became my foundation of what love is. Putting your needs behind someone else, that’s what love looked like for me. How could anyone say that you don’t love them if you are giving all of you to them? Why would anyone walk away from anyone so selfless? Have you ever given all of you energy to someone only to have things just not work out? Then question yourself of what you did wrong, why you weren’t enough. After that, deciding it was his fault, his loss! He didn’t recognize all that you had to offer. He didn’t see how truly amazing you really are. Then you would repeat the cycle. One day you meet someone else and that foundation continues. It works for a while and then again you get hurt. I had to learn that trying to receive a different result by repeating the same actions, made no sense.
Change-its definition by dictionary is: To make the form, nature, content, future course etc. of something different from what it is. To transform. Change can be a scary word. It’s the fear of something new. It’s my fear of not being comfortable. My fear of being vulnerable and unsafe in my own emotions. Battling myself day in and day out, I finally realized that I needed to change. To become different from what I was. The change I needed to make was within myself. I had to change my foundation of what love means to me. I cannot love someone more than I love myself. I have to learn to love myself just as much if not greater. I will always be my biggest critic, as so many of us will. However, I have to be my greatest supporter. When I can look at myself and truly believe in everything that I have to offer, maybe just maybe I will start to only accept the things I do deserve. My lesson learned was to stopped being ignorant to the beauty and power I truly possess. I had to find courage to being alone long enough to understand my worth. This takes work! It’s a challenge every single day, especially when others see your light and try so hard to dim you. I am happy to say that I have finally found courage. The courage to accept how beautiful and deserving I truly am.
Self-love-its definition by dictionary is: the instinct by which one’s actions are directed to the promotion of one’s own welfare or well-being, especially an excessive regard for one’s own advantage. Self-love to me is simply saying “I love myself more than what I use to, I know who I am and I am proud to be me”.
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